You might be an intern if…
10. You’ve ever been crossing the street on your way to the hospital, and thought, “if I got hit by a car, at least I probably wouldn’t have to go to work today…”
9. You’ve developed clinical signs and symptoms of PTSD in response to the sound your pager makes.
8. You think your stomach might implode if you have to eat one more Subway sandwich from noon conference.
7. Not wanting to gouge your eyes out is considered a good day.
6. You’ve ever done the “laugh-cry”… at first you laugh because it’s funny, but then you cry because it’s true.
5. You’ve ever responded to a page in the middle of the night in a sleep-deprived stupor, written an order, and delivered medical care – all with no recollection of what you did the following day.
4. A patient, nurse, or ancillary staff member has ever grossly overestimated your knowledge and capabilities.
3. You’ve gotten so good at faking that you know stuff that you’ve actually started to believe that you know stuff.
2. You’ve ever accidentally stolen a pen from a medical student – now you’re the bad guy!
1. You’re counting down the days until intern year is over… TWO MORE MONTHS LEFT!