Hi everyone,
I’m alive!!!!
I’m very alive and writing to you from my hospital bed at City of Hope where I’ve been admitted to receive my bone marrow transplant.
A quick update of what’s been going on since I wrote my last post about my relapse: The relapse was terrible news but things have been going as well as they could since then. One of the concerns with my type of cancer is that when it relapses it be resistant to chemotherapy (since how else would a cancer cell survive the 3 years of chemotherapy I had?). But for me that did not end up being the case and my tumor quickly shrank with 2 rounds of chemo identical to what I received before.
Then, I was extremely nervous about finding a donor match for bone marrow transplant, since like I mentioned before I am adopted (and have no full biological siblings who could have gotten tested) and am mixed ethnicity, which makes it a lot harder to find a match than when you are plain white.
However I ended up having several full matches on the registry, and the donor who was selected for me is a 37 year old woman in Germany (apparently a lot of donors come from Europe because they have better systems for signing people up there).
Even knowing I had a match didn’t alleviate all of the worry. I found myself wondering, Did she definitely agreed to donate? Has she signed anything? Does she wear her seat belt? Could we possibly wrap her in bubble wrap for the next couple weeks… you know, better safe than sorry?
But as the process proceeded forward as planned those anxieties fell away. I was admitted to the hospital last week for my scheduled transplant and so far have received 4 days of total body irradiation and 1 day of high dose chemotherapy to kill any remaining cancer cells and blast my immune system to get my body ready to receive the donor stem cells.
So far I don’t feel too bad—tired, but not bad. The main side effects the radiation gave me were super dry skin and a blistering tan, and not a good tan like you just came back from Spring Break, but a “I spent 40 years smoking cigarettes and rubbing baby oil on myself on Miami Beach,” kind of tan, or as my husband describes it, “You look like you got lost in a desert… a desert where they do atomic bomb testing.”
In 2 days I will receive the actual transplant, which isn’t a surgery or anything fancy but instead a bag with stem cells hung up on the IV poll just like any of my other IV fluids. Somewhere in Germany my donor is getting ready to donate her blood, where the stem cells will then be filtered out, packaged up, and put on a couriered flight all the way to me in Los Angeles.
I wanted to thank you all too for your awesome responses to my last post. To give you an update:
#1 – I got my money back from American Airlines! They reached out to me within a few hours of my last post going live. The customer service rep who called me referenced receiving “significant correspondence” on my behalf… so thank you guys for that (and thank you AA for doing the refund).
#2 – I got a book agent! I had a number of agents reach out to me and will be working with a great agent from Inkwell. I’m working on shoring up my proposal to submit to publishers in the near future.
#3 – Thank you to everyone who signed up to be a bone marrow donor. I should clarify the terminology, because what I am receiving is not technically a “bone marrow transplant” and is instead a “stem cell transplant,” the difference meaning that stem cells are harvested from the donor through a blood donation and without any surgery, and then they are put into me via an infusion. Then the little stem cells will somehow find their way to my bone marrow and create a new immune system, also without any surgery. So the process to be a donor is usually NOT surgery or anything painful, so don’t let that dissuade you.
If you haven’t already you can sign up to be a donor at the Be the Match website here. Imagine being the person to save someone’s life—someone who may not have any options other than you. That’s what my donor is to me—she does not know me but she is giving me a chance to keep living, and the years I have going forward will only be possible because of her.
#4 – Thank you to everyone who signed up for my Life Teachings membership program! I am having a great time in the program making videos and answering member questions. I am also making daily videos from my hospital room with updates about my transplant process and little life lessons from the trenches.
Here’s a picture my husband took of me recording one of my videos yesterday:
You can sign up here for the Life Teachings Membership Program for $47/month. It’s easy to sign up or cancel at any time. I’m also offering a discounted rate of $17/month for cancer survivors who others who under financial stress. Email me if you’d like to sign up for the discounted rate (give me a couple of days to get back to you).
Thank you for following along with me and I’ll be back soon 🙂
So relieved to hear of your positive progress! Prayers for continued improvement!
All the best you to always.
Dear Elana,
I have followed you since we were both diagnosed. Your strength lifted me while I was struggling. You have touched me and supported me more than you ever know.
We have a dear friend in Germany who is a medical courier. It would be too wild if he was the one bringing your Stem Cells. He is a former pilot, so he can fly the plane as well as sit in the back.
Sending you good thoughts and positive support.
All the best – T
I wish you the very best of outcomes! Your positive attitude will get you the very best possible results.
Fabulous news Elana ~ keep rockin’ that tan!!! Big ♥️, hugs & prayers heading your way… xoxoxo
Wishing you a speedy recovery! My cousin got her bone marrow transplant 7 years ago and she’s back to her crazy workout routines. We meet her donor a few years ago and needless to say she’s instant family.
I am beyond thrilled to receive your new E-Mail. Thank G-d for modern medicine and new medical methods. You are an inspiration to the world. So happy about the book deal and then hoping for a movie. Who would you like to play you? Sending white light, warm hugs, blessings to you as always. I pray I get to meet you one day. I feel like we are destined to meet. My son-in-law is a director and producer. Please look him up….Genndy Tartakovsky. Also, please watch his feel good movies, Hotel Transylvania 1, 2 and 3. Fondly, Marsha
Hi Elana,
I’m glad to hear from you again and am happy that you re relatively happy yourself!
We’ve been connected via email now for six years, before you even faced your first bout. Wow. You’ve been through so many challenges and you’ve come through as a master of resilience. What inherent strength you have. Way to go!
I’m a member of the “Baby Boomer + a Few Years” generation. I began a series of significant illnesses and surgeries at age 11, which continued over the years. I whined and resented and “why me’d” each one of them as they showed up unexpectedly.
Bear in mind, Elana, my challenges were relatively meager compared to yours. Recently, however, in a moment of clarity, I re-contextualized my life and transformed myself from “Poor Me” to “Very Resilient Person”. It’s made a significant and positive difference in my relationship to my self.
I sense that you have endured and overcome your challenges by creating or discovering a strong and invincible core within your self, too.
Keep on keepin’ on Elana!
Namaste,
Lowell
Best wishes to you……, KEEP THE FAITH!!!
Don Livingston
I have received your emails from the beginning. I feel grateful and always inspired.
Thank you. I will be thinking of you through your life and progress.
Sincerely, Pat
Elana…..my prayers are with you – keep your positive attitude – miracles will happen for you. The stem cell procedure sounds amazing.
Dearest Elana – selfishly, I didn’t comment on your last post. I was so angry at the universe, pissed off at cancer, scared of losing your voice in my head and heart. Like I said, selfish. I found you right before I was diagnosed with breast cancer and then you were diagnosed. You helped me through my treatments even as you were facing an even worse struggle. I know I’m babbling here. I just wanted to say I am so happy to hear your hopeful news (and you are rockin’ that atomic blast tan)! I am sending prayers and virtual hugs that all goes well with your stem cell transplant, that side effects are manageable, that you feel love both physically and virtually. God bless you! ❤️
Best to you!!! Thanks for sharing your journey of hope, courage, and resilience.
You have become a much stronger woman in the years since I’ve been following you. Out of all the heartbreak and pain, a happier and confident woman has emerged. I know those stem cells will heal your body and let you enjoy your life. Love and light to you!
Dear Elana. You have been in my nightly prayers ever since your original diagnosis and continue to be. You are a wonderful strong woman, and will win this battle
also. I am a friend of your mother, and have followed your entire life.
So much power in your life, positive power. The power of (your) community at large, the power of ‘voice’, the power of support from loved ones – and your power to hold on to the awesome ability to be grateful.
May grace and progress continue to be with you during this time.
I stumbled upon your website and videos while searching for an integrative psychiatrist for my 21 year old daughter. We have never met but your writings, approach to mental health and videos kept me coming back to your website. I subscribed to your monthly newsletter and hope many others have also. You are a talented, compassionate healer. I am praying for you and sending positive energy your way. The world is a better place because of you.
Hello Elana…I apparently missed some chapters of your story as I was living out my own cancer adventure.
I am sorry to learn you are back in a hospital bed awaiting treatment, yet happy to hear your stem cell transplant is about to happen.
I have thought of you often during my rounds of chemo and associated side effects and now as I return to what I would call a version of my normal life in a functional sort of way, I am also back to being a supporter and energy sender for you. Consider yourself covered with sparkles of positive light and love coming from my heart to yours. May your body respond perfectly and on time to the new cells.
My blog is https://www.katebelievedshecould.home.blog. You have inspired me to write and I am grateful.
Blessings,
Kate
Look at you beautiful and brave and ready for those stem cells to do their thing. I am so glad to hear you found a donor and you are now on your way back to health! God bless you and thanks for letting us all know! Congratulations on getting an agent for your book!! 👏
Thank you so much for the update! Yep, that’s quite a tan! You remain beautiful as always.
You are ripe and ready for stem cell transplantation. It is just the right treatment for you! Everything is going to be okay.
Love,
Nadia Felix 🦋
You are an amazing woman. I wish you a successful stem cell transplant and good health.
I read your blog when I was going through Hyper CVAD and related on many levels. You perfectly described my crazed and insane state while on dexamethasone. And I too spent countless hours watching Kardashian reruns (I’m ashamed to say I still do). I was diagnosed with b-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia in July 2018 when I was 33. I am 35 now. I had a bone marrow transplant from an unrelated donor (8/10 match) on 2/20/19. I fear relapse every day but I am finally living a somewhat normalish life after a slew of horrendous complications. I saw your post and my heart dropped for you but you will beat this and SCT will be your cure. Please feel free to reach out if you want to commiserate. I don’t pray, but I will think positive and healing thoughts for you and hope that the universe carries them to you.
Hug A Mug Of Joy [HAMOJ]
Thank you for so generously sharing, as you are igniting spirits around the sun. Congratulations on the clarity and sanctity of your journey.
Went through a SCT three years ago and I’m doing great. You’ve got this! You’ve helped me so much over the past 6 years. So many are pulling for you. Thanks for sharing.
Elana, it’s wonderful to hear that things are moving in the right direction for you. Thanks for keeping us posted, for your wisdom and persistence and vision. Sending you endless healing thoughts –
Cheryl Teplinsky, LCSW
UCLA RNPH
Best wishes. I am praying for you. 🙂
Hi Elana! You look beautiful as always! You are always in my prayers and faithful for your complete recovery. God Bless You.
Love
Nancy
Oh Dr. Miller I’m so happy to hear this update. I think about you often and send you lots of love and healing light. I am so happy to be able to follow your process. You are such a sweet inspiration. Life is tender and you are so brave! Looking forward to seeing you back in your office soon xx
I cried reading your post!! I am so overjoyed that you’re alive and had so many positive things happen these last few weeks. You are my inspiration. I look forward to continuing to learn from you, always and forever!!!! I simply can’t wait to read your book. I will be first in line for a copy. Prayers and love to you next week as you head towards the bone marrow transplant! You will do fantastic!!!
You’re a beautiful, insightful soul and I’m damn lucky to know you and be endlessly inspired by your resilience and grace. Thank you for allowing us to join you on this journey and cheer you on. It’s a privilege to read your beautiful words and learn from your experiences. Is it even possible for someone to be wiser than you??!! Everyone’s life is indeed better with Elana in it:) Sending you all the healing energy, love, and strength I possibly can, dear friend.
Hi Elana
I’ve been following your journey and was jolted by your most recent email.
I’m so sorry that you have to deal with this new and stressful situation.
I wanted to send healing wishes and let you know that your attitude, inner strength and resilience is truly wondrous and inspiring.
All the best going forward.
You have a lot to offer the world.
Warmly, Robin
Glad to hear things are moving forward — I’m keeping you in my mind and heart, doll. *hugs* to you and to those who love you.
I have been so caught up in my own miserable life for the last 6 months I completely missed the post about the relapse. I am deeply grateful for your wisdom and Hope the best outlook possible for you.
I’ve been thinking about you. I hope your transplant went well and that you are feeling a little better.
Best wishes on your recovery. This journey is a great ride, I’m grateful to have read it.
You’re in my thoughts and prayers Elana!! The world needs more people like you – beautiful, kind, and brilliant. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.