I’ve been thinking a lot about the quote that started my last post about seeing everyone as your Buddha. I loved it so much I wanted to talk about it again here:
“Only as a [spiritual] warrior can one withstand the path of knowledge. A warrior cannot complain or regret anything. His life is an endless challenge and challenges cannot possibly be good or bad. Challenges are simply challenges. The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge, while an ordinary man takes everything as a blessing or a curse.” -Don Juan, as quoted by Jack Kornfield in A Path With Heart
A spiritual warrior is someone who goes through life aggressively and purposefully, whether climbing mountains or wallowing through swamps. He takes the natural ups and downs in stride, and sees painful circumstances as challenges work through, not as bad luck to lament. It’s the type of person I aspire to be, and one of the reasons I find Eastern wisdom so useful and applicable to Western life.
The following are a few of the core principles of being a spiritual warrior.
1. Integrate mindfulness into your daily life. Being mindful doesn’t mean you need to spend hours a day meditating – you just need to pay attention. We think we don’t have the time, but it doesn’t need to take any extra time. Practice paying attention when you’re engaged in daily activities. When you’re washing the dishes, wash the dishes, and try not to let your mind wander to the past or future. When you’re eating, eat. When you’re walking, walk, and pay attention to the ground under each step.
2. Turn straw into gold. Our deepest suffering is our greatest opportunity to learn about ourselves and take action to be better people. Working through suffering is how you learn to be patient, humble and grateful. And developing strength in the face of painful circumstances teaches you that you don’t need to fear the natural ups and downs of life, and instead can face anything with inner calm and peace.
3. See everyone as your Buddha. Just as difficult circumstances can be an opportunity for growth, so can interactions with difficult people. Imagine that any difficult person you encounter is actually the Buddha in disguise, put there to teach you a specific lesson about life or about yourself. What do you think the universe is trying to teach you?
4. Recognize the difference between pain and suffering. In Eastern philosophy, pain and suffering are two very different things. Pain is the inevitable hardships of life, and suffering is the avoidable negative narrative you add on top of that. Losing your job is pain – telling yourself that this means you’re a failure is suffering. Ending a relationship is pain – interpreting this to mean that you’ll never meet anyone again is suffering. You can’t eliminate pain, but you can end suffering.
5. Set a daily intention. In most yoga classes the teacher will ask the students at the beginning to set an intention for their practice. The same exercise can be useful in your day-to-day life. Try asking yourself every morning, “What emotion or feeling do I want to cultivate today?” Maybe it’s to be patient, nonjudgmental, self-assured, happy, or open-minded. Whatever that is, set an intention to foster that quality throughout your day.
6. Create space for negative emotions. A common reaction to painful emotions like doubt, fear, or anger is to squash them down and pretend they’re not there. You’ll actually find it a lot more tolerable if you create space for them, instead. Imagine whatever painful emotion you’re feeling as a compact ball of energy at your heart. Now expand that ball of energy to take up the whole room, the whole street, the whole planet, the whole universe. As it diffuses outward, the strength of the emotion wanes.
7. Cultivate wise thoughts. So little of how we see the world and ourselves is based on fact and reality, and so much is based on our perceptions and interpretations. This is why unwise thoughts can be so destructive and wise thoughts can be so empowering. Choose to cultivate wise thoughts. We can’t always choose how we feel, but we can choose what thoughts patterns and narratives we want to nurture.
8. Do something you’re afraid of everyday. In order to be able to do anything really amazing or courageous, you need to be able to act in spite of fear. Acting even when you’re afraid is learned skill. The more you do it, the better you get out of it. Everyday you can find small ways to practice that can help you build up the momentum for something bigger. Maybe it’s asking that cute girl out at the grocery store, or negotiating a price when you don’t feel comfortable haggling, or speaking up at work when normally you keep quiet. Whatever you’re afraid of, practice doing it.
9. Act out of love, not fear. Many people think the opposite of love is hate, but I would actually say it’s fear. While fear is a closing and contraction of the heart, love is a warmness and openness to yourself, the people around you, and whatever circumstance comes your way. If you’re ever confused and unsure of how to act, ask yourself one question. Does the action you’re considering spring from love or from fear? Always choose love.
Thanks Elana for your practical suggestions. Good stuff. I appreciate your comment on creating space for our negative emotions. Like you said, its not the common way to deal with emotions. Seems more self-honoring, though, as long as we don’t get lost in them. Again, thanks Elana.
Hey thanks Sean. I used to think that letting myself feel the negative emotion would make it grow stronger… but I think it’s just the opposite. As long as you don’t get lost in the narrative, and just let the feeling come and go, the emotion will just run its course. And you learn a lot more about yourself that way, too. Thanks again for your comment.
Absolutely beautiful. You are wise beyond your years grasshopper. I always learn something from you.
Merie
Thanks mom 🙂
Elana – so glad you didn’t change your title. Love the subtle changes in your site since I was last here. Your posts are definitely looking top-notch. I really like this one, and also the way you’ve made it scannable for those who don’t spend a lot of time reading on the internet. Keep it up 🙂 I hope to put more time in my blog design soon, just gotta finish my iphone app first… it’s a lot harder than it looks… haha.
Thanks Kelly! I’m still experimenting with some small design changes. And the more I write, the better I get at it! (Go figure).
this is an incredible post — i linked a bunch of people to this and they’re loving it. definitely saving this link :-D. hope residency is treating you well!
<– oops, last post = hillel from keck. keep up the great work !
Hey Hillel! Thanks so much much for the comment and shout out. I remember you being interested in the mindfulness/integrative medicine stuff too. Hope med school (2nd year right?) is going well!
Elana, I really think you nailed what it means to be a spiritual warrior. In light of point #3, see everyone as your Buddha, I wrote a similar post yesterday about cultivating Universal Compassion (even for enemies and notoriously “evil” figures in our history like Hitler and Osama Bin Laden). Learning to love our enemies is an incredible obstacle to overcome, but I think it is the right view to take. If you have compassion for your enemies, that means you wish them to be happy. And if your enemies are truly happy, they would stop hating and causing suffering – they’d be too busy relaxing somewhere and enjoying themselves.
Thanks a lot for this. There is so much else I could comment on. In particular, I’m glad you made the point that we should make space for our negative emotions. As you mention, people often try to run away or suppress them, but I find things like fear, sadness, and anger to have their positive functions every now and then. I say if we let ourselves experience the full range of human emotion, we often find ourselves more satisfied with life.
Hey Steven, thanks so much for your comment. Looks like you write about similar stuff on your blog, too – I think integrating western psychology/psychiatry with eastern philosophy can create a much more meaningful message. I love your gravatar, by the way – that’s insanely clever and awesome 🙂
Elana,
Awesome post. I love the new look of your website. You’ve been very busy.
You are 30 years ahead of me in learning life lessons. One I have learned is that there is a reason both yoga and medicine are called practices. All life is practice, and needs to be taken as such. Keep practicing and I can’t even imagine where you will be at my age.
Thanks dad. Even in just a blog comment you’re a very thoughtful and excellent writer. I’ve learned a lot from you 🙂
Great post with lots of useful advice. However, I’m not sure about #6 as I know I would feel that I’m sending out my pain and negativity to everyone around me which is definitely something I don’t want to be doing.
Hey Tamara, good point – I think of it more as a visualization exercise rather than literally talking about/venting your negative emotions. It’s like if you’re trapped in a closet with a poisonous gas and you open the door so the gas can diffuse outward – as it spreads out, it becomes less powerful.
Apathy is the opposite of Love… Courage is the opposite of Fear. Love, Hate, Courage & Fear can all be found flowing alongside each other in this vein we call Passion. Their greatest differences are based on the emotional charge we contribute to any one of these things; be it positive or negative. This, we can change for ourselves… but how does one return from Apathy?
I’ve always been a creature of habit so getting out of my comfort zone is something that I have to constantly force myself to do. I’m generally not the adventurous type. However, I CAN say that after persistent practice doing this, I’ve become much more engaged in the world around me instead os stuck in my normal, safe routine. The result has led me to have a much more open mind – particularly when i comes to understanding the philosophies of so many different people.
Hi Jason, great point, getting out of my comfort zone always helps me think broader and more creatively about other things.
I’d note that, if you want to be an enlightened warrior, you really need #10: You have to have a belief about the way the world should be, what people deserve, and how you can bring that about. Being comfortable with who we are and being free from suffering for ourselves is not the same thing as being able to bring that to others, as I’ve been discovering for my entire lifetime. Having discipline, a rigorous understanding of the world as it is, accountability, some tough humility… It’s all part of advancing an agenda that can change the world. And I think that giving people hope is where it all begins.
I read a passage in the bible once that seems to stick inside my head like that tune you hear on the radio. The verse goes; (when you seek it like silver or search for it as in buried treasure, only then will you come to understand)
I not sure what it means but I strive to put it into context from time to time. Perhaps you could help me with the interpretation?
Wonderful post. I found it very helpful as I’ve recently acquainted myself with the Spiritual Warrior that’s been in me for so long… and is being stirred by so many elements to soulfully come out. Thank you <3
I enjoyed your article. Although, love can have no opposite. If hate or fear is the opposite of love then that would make them two sides of the same coin. Fear or hate would have to be within love. There cannot be love without freedom and in total action you cannot distinguish between the two. Love and freedom are beyond polarity.
Just found this post
I am awakening to my spiritual warriorship and seeking others who have embodied this
Any ideas on how to find others
Munay lee
See comment above
Greetings in Jesus Christ name as a spiritual warrior I encounter many attacks, isolation but I tackle it as they come through prayer persistent ly and they draw me closer to the Lord, and I feel His presence,all in all I humble myself always with Holy’ Spirit’s help and I conquer, endurance is my strongest point and never cease to pray