Today will be brief because I’m really starting to feel the effects of this round’s chemo, and I want to make sure I reserve my energy to teach an awesome class tomorrow on resiliency.
By the way, if you are interested in the class and haven’t signed up yet, today is your last chance! I will be closing the class to new sign ups tonight at 8pm PDT. The class will be taught live tomorrow at 2pm PDT, but everyone will get a copy of the recording, so no biggie if you can’t make it live.
I was so touched to see how many people offered to sponsor another person who couldn’t afford to pay, and I would like to announce the 3 people I am offering gift spots to: Steve, Sally, and Kerryn! Congrats you guys, I hope you get a ton out of it.
Yesterday I got some news that’s going to make it difficult to finish these next 4 months of chemo. My doctor informed me that at this point I have completed more intensive chemotherapy than Stanford’s protocol dictates—the protocol I’m on is 5 months longer than what Stanford does—and “technically,” if I really couldn’t handle doing any more chemo, I could consider stopping and going straight to maintenance.
Now, this would not be recommended, as I started on one protocol and to give myself the best chance of survival I should complete it—but knowing that I’ve already done “enough” sure makes it hard to keep going.
In particular, my last round of chemo will be a repeat of the worst round I’ve done so far (leading to multiple terrible symptoms and a hospitalization for neutropenic fever). I’m not exactly chomping at the bit to sign up for that again.
I need to consider not just to physical wounds of the chemo, but the spiritual wounds of going through something so traumatic. Yes, I want to give myself the best chance of survival. But I also want to have something left inside of me when I’m done with all this. And of course, I wouldn’t make any decisions without discussing things with my UCLA oncologist, who obviously is going to want me to complete the full protocol.
There sure is a lot to think about.
Anyway, I’m going to go back to prepping for my class. I hope to see you there tomorrow!